A LowB World

Sunday, November 28, 2004

my testimony...

Today I was baptised -.-""

It was a really easy thing to do actually. In fact, all you have to do is say "I do" when the time comes. Sort of like getting married.

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Before the actual event I had expected hard or at least tricky questions they would ask to the candidate. Wouldnt you think that that would be a good idea? For example, if someone would be to get married, shouldnt they make the questions more difficult so its more interesting? The answers to today's three questions were:

1.Yes
2.Yes
3.Yes

But it would be fairer to randomise the correct answers so the person actually has to think about it -for example like this:

1. No
2. Yes
3. No

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In the beginning, like everyone else I thought there was no God. Or at least there doesnt seem to be. I still wonder: if God exists then why doesnt he just show himself instead of having such a cryptic way of bringing us through him? The truth is we cant see God acting directly everyday. Its as if God isnt alive or that God is invisible..

This is quite an issue as we can argue that God doesnt exist because we cant see Him or we can argue that God acts invisibly. What gave me a real shock was that it was the story of a guy who played with ouija boards that made me think.

He claimed that evil spirits were summoned and that they moved the inverted glass cup that you hold in your hand when you play the board... the glass moves to letters of the alphabet on the board and they spell out the answers you ask the spirit. A rule in the game was that if any trouble occured, you try and throw the glass cup on the ground to break it. This would dispel the evil spirit. He talked alot about it...

I had no reason not to believe him so I think the devil does exist, as well as evil spirits. And if the devil, as well as evil spirits exist, then God must exist right?

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Another thing I had was a fascination with death. Seriously- I would really wonder what it would be like to die, and what things would be like after you died. It was a real cool thing to me and I tried to talk to other people about it. People used to think I was weird.

Death is actually quite a taboo subject as some people think that talking about it gives you bad luck. You might get jeeped. Anyways, to cut to the chase, believing in God is sort of like a form of 'life insurance' for life after you die. Since, because, strictly speaking, we have not proved that God does exist, then you are in essence 'hedging' your bet on the occurence of the state that God does exist.. something like this:

1a> God exists, believe in God - Best outcome
2a> God doesnt exist, believe in God -Similar outcomes
2b> God doesnt exists, dont believe in God -Similar outcomes
4> God exists, dont believe in God -Worst outcome

So, based on hedging, and supposing that believing in God doesnt make life any better or worse (!) then its logical to choose 1a. There's some hope in that at least...

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Another thing that I faced was laziness. Too lazy to read heaps. So to be fair, I acknowledge the existence and validity (~) of both pro- and anti- Christianity texts. The Bible to me is not 'theoretically infallible' as there are too many probable areas in which it could and would have been changed. These changes could be accidental(translational or due to human error) or not(conspiracies or the like). The general gist of it, I take to be true -partly because of the choice in 1a above...

And what about the Church? It is sometimes very boring to many (including me) but more serious than that, it can house hypocrisy. I mean you would think that Christians would hold to a certain way of living but when you see people in Church doing otherwise is it:

a) hypocrisy, false belief
b) weakness, true belief

Its something to think about for myself too of course. Its all the more serious for some people who've taken the blunt end of these actions. An extreme example are the cases when the pastor rapes/has sex with a girl(who is not her wife). I read an ex-christian testimony about that and the girl went to the pastor's wife for support afterward. The pastor's wife blamed it on her and she, because of the trauma, later deconverted. There must be a definite line where b) is not the case and where a) has taken a hold of people.. and its a critical point.

If the church has too many instances of a), its pretty stuffed up.

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My life has been very rich so far -I've had many experiences. I've seen so much and looking back I even appreciate how deep I was in the bad side too.. I can understand alot because of that..

Anyway, the conclusion I have reached so far for Christianity in this life is this: our actions should be out of love for one another. How corny that sounds but it is because it is through our actions (or inaction) that forms relationships between people. And through these relationships we cause either pain or joy to others.

Relationships are the simplest and also the most compliated things in our lives. And in essence, Christianity is all about relationships. The commandments given basically tell us to love others and to treat others as we would treat others. It is idealistic in that it aims to form 'perfect' relationships. In that sense, even envying or disliking someone prevents an ideal relationship: if someone envied you, how could you tell him something really good happened to you? There is pain.

We are commanded: love God and each other, which in this life is the equivalent of love each other because of God. So we are called to live in a way that doesnt bring pain to each other but joy. I cant see how that could possibly detract from our quality of life, hence 2a)=2b) (see above).

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So in conclusion, I cant escape logic and reason and so I have to admit that I cannot prove that Christianity is right. But, like science (which I major in), when you consider Christianity to be true and apply it to the world, the answers make sense.

That's good enough for science -it doesnt matter why or how it works, as long as it does. For me, there are more reasons that that. And for me, I do have faith in Jesus.