A LowB World

Sunday, February 20, 2005

late night thoughts...

Usually its easy to sleep at night for me, but I just have too many things in my mind... too many things im thinking about...

Here are some of them...


About... the unseen hardship in favors

Most of the time I hardly think about things. When someone gives me a lift its easy for me to just be happy and say thank you at the end of it. But for the person giving the favor, it is hard sometimes...

Tomorrow I promised that I would make some sushi for my friends.. and Im really happy to do it.. but it is a lot of work to cook (it took me some time to realise this) and sometimes it feels as if no one understands this(!).. To make it, I need to buy ingredients that I dont have..

Have to make time to drive to the shop, go inside and look for it.. and then the supermarket I went to doesnt have seaweed! then also have to buy it, carry it to car, drive home, bring it home.. and then wake up early, look at ingredient/recipe, then wash ingredients and chop it.. then cook it and then make sure it is in the container that wont mush the sushi up...

Have to wake up early to do it too -.- and.. stupid B is worrying about if it will taste good or if my friend will like to eat it -.-''''''''''

But im really happy to do things for my friend and family -it makes me happy inside but just feel tired, exhausted................. and... even if your mother and father arent perfect, they went through a lot of hardship for you!!!! Please understand.. that is all I hope for -.-


About... real relationships(?)

To begin with... lately I have been thinking about who I am.. and who you are.. Just who I am, what am I doing, what am I made of, why do I do the things I do... and you too: where are you in life, where will you go, where did you come from, how did you grow up, and what are uuUUUu looking at (haha)?

Its a long story.. anyways, to start off with, wouldnt you agree that our relationships are built fundamentally on talk? And then maybe it is interesting to think why we talk to each other..

Oh.. Obviously that is an easy question to answer! We talk to each other to ask for directions, to borrow things, to organise to go out, to clarify, and so on... But.., this answer, in fact, leads us to the real question.. Why do we talk to each other for these reasons? In fact, are these questions, if they are the reasons for us to talk to each other, really reasons for our self gain?

For me, when I think of this, most of these reasons are for self gain.. but how can real relationships be real then? When I look at children and their interactions with each other and also adults, it gives me a clue.. The clue seems to lead me to think.. "in fact, the most enlightened reason for talking to each other is to have no reason at all"... But is this right? I dont know...

Another more down-to-earth reason comes from our understanding and our level of integration with someone else's life.. to share experiences allows me to think... how were you like when you grew up.. did you have a happy childhood.. do you love or hate your parents.. did you have people who cared for you.. what pressures did you grow up with.. what is going on with your life now.. where would you be in the future.. what do you hope for..

My thoughts, at this stage, lead me to think that real relationships are formed from empathy from yourself to the other person.. and for me, it seems that it requires a deep/high level of self-understanding as well as an understanding of the world.. I need to know how my past has and is affecting me as well as where I hope or will be -as well as........................................................................


.........too tired to write more

In a sense it is all theory.. im limited by energy as well as my rather low-b-ge ability..

this is my life.. what about your life.. i sincerly hope that you will grow and surpass what i have been through... please be strong..


The story of Uncle Bob

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't f*ck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."